saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize