Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
