Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Houston, we have a blender
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
