Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
