Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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