The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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