what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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