Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
