I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
