what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
