You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
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Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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