But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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