as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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