You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
