just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
