he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize