We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I could fuck to npr.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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