you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
