I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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