I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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