Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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