So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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