She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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