I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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