Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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