And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
