I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
