and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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