He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
