So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
