ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
