my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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