nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
