is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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