That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
