you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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