I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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