I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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