you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wish my penis had a tongue
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
