my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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