got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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