i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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