i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She even gives head with a lisp.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
