David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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