I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She's the barista slut.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
