My nipple is on Facebook.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Less talking, more tequila
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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