he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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