Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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