how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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