shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize