No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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