why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
