I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize