apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
