Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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