One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
