Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
