You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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